Jonasi Gomora isn’t the villain Patriarchy is!

What are the odds? I haven’t done a movie or show review in a while, and I spent my entire Saturday consuming (weird word to use) 22 episodes of ‘The Polygamist’ Wheeew!

I have a lot to say, and thank God, I articulate myself well in writing, so here it goes.

What a shit show, and I mean that in a good way. I wanted to slap the hell out of my husband each episode, not because he is complicit to Jonasi, but maybe because he is, because he is a man, lol I’m joking, he is a good man, Savannah.

I want Stained Glass on very show now because WHAT a stellar production. Netflix also did its big one. I want to, however, get into the real issue this show sought to address.

The more I watched The Polygamist, the more I realised that Jonasi Gomora isn't just a cheating husband.

He's the kind of man society keeps making excuses for. Every time he hurts somebody, the conversation somehow shifts away from what he did and onto how everybody else should respond.

Joyce must be strong. Joyce must forgive. Joyce must think about the family. Joyce must keep everything together.

Girl, why? Why does the responsibility always fall on the women while the man who caused the damage gets endless chances to redeem himself?

I wonder what makes men like this? Why are there Jonasis in the world?

Is it because mothers failed their sons, or maybe the wives are too forgiving and ultimately allow and normalise this behaviour?

That's what kept frustrating me throughout the series. Jonasi walks through life making decisions that affect everyone around him, yet somehow the burden of fixing them never falls on him.

The wives carry it. The children carry it; every kid in that show has a father wound, all of them, and is it because Jonas also had a father wound?

The family carried it. Everybody is expected to understand his struggles, mistakes, weaknesses, and needs.

But who is understanding theirs? The show keeps presenting us with women who are expected to sacrifice their peace to preserve relationships that Jonasi himself keeps breaking.

What makes it even more interesting is that Jonasi probably doesn't see himself as a bad guy.

In his mind, he's a provider. He's successful. He takes care of people financially. He loves his family in his own complicated way.

But that's what makes the character so real. Misogyny doesn't always show up looking like hatred; it looks like a man who believes his needs matter just a little bit more than everyone else's.

A man who expects loyalty without accountability. A man who wants forgiveness before he's earned it.

That's why I don't think The Polygamist is really about polygamy. It's about entitlement.

It's about what happens when a man becomes so used to being the centre of every room that he starts to believe everybody else's lives should revolve around his choices, too.

Jonasi isn't fascinating because he's unique. He's fascinating because we've all met a version of him.

Maybe not a wealthy CEO with a mansion and a public image to protect, but a man who expects women to carry emotional loads he refuses to carry himself.

And while everybody is debating who cheated on whom and who betrayed whom, I keep coming back to Joyce.

Because beneath all the drama, she's the one paying the real price. She didn't create the chaos, but she's expected to survive it.

She didn't break the trust, but she's expected to rebuild it. She didn't embarrass the family, but she's expected to protect its image.

That's the part of the story that stayed with me. Not the affairs. Not the scandals. Not even Jonasi himself.

It's the expectation that women must constantly prove how much they can endure, while men are praised for doing the bare minimum after causing the damage in the first place.

Maybe that's why Jonasi gets under my skin so much. Not because he's the worst man ever written for television. Boy bye, we've seen worse. It's because he's familiar.

He's a reminder of how often society teaches women to carry pain with grace while teaching men that someone else will eventually clean up the mess

The more I watched, the more I found myself asking whether Jonasi was the villain or simply a product of a system that keeps teaching men they can have everything without consequences.

That's a much bigger conversation than who is sleeping with who.

Performance-wise, Gugu Gumede absolutely understood the assignment. Nonchalant monologues hate to see her coming.

This might genuinely be my favourite performance of her career.

Joyce could have easily become one of those long-suffering wives whose entire personality revolves around being hurt by a man.

Instead, Gugu gives her depth, dignity and just enough fire to stop her from becoming a victim.

Some of her best moments aren't even the loud ones. It's the way she carries herself. The moments where you can literally see Joyce trying to hold herself together while her world falls apart.

There were scenes where everybody else was acting and Gugu was simply reacting, and somehow, she still owned the moment.

As for Sdumo Mtshali, what a journey this man has had.

A lot of us first noticed him back on Class Act, and ever since then, he's quietly built one of the most solid careers in South African television.

What I appreciate about his performance here is that he never tries to make Jonasi lovable. Thank goodness because that would've been impossible.

Instead, he plays him as a deeply flawed man whose biggest enemy is himself.

You get frustrated with him. You roll your eyes at him. You want to shake him through the television. Yet somehow you still want to see what he does next. That's not easy to pull off.

The supporting cast deserves flowers too. Kenneth Nkosi, Kwanele Mthethwa, S'thandiwe Kgoroge and the rest of the ensemble throw themselves into this story with zero hesitation. Nobody came to work halfway.

While at it, the cinematography is beautiful throughout. The luxury homes, the fashion, the polished public image of the Gomora family, everything looks expensive.

But what I loved is how the visuals constantly clash with what's happening underneath. Everything looks perfect until you realise this family is hanging together by a thread.

Now let's talk about the writing. This show has absolutely no chill. None.

Every time an interesting storyline starts developing, another three scandals arrive before you've even processed the first one.

At some point, I stopped reacting to shocking revelations because there were simply too many.