.....Finding her purpose beyond the Degree
I first met Palesa in 2020, during one of the strangest periods any of us had ever lived through.
The world was navigating COVID-19, uncertainty was everywhere, and somehow, in the middle of all that, a friendship took shape. Since then, as big advocates, mostly her, really, we have been to marches, concerts, festivals, and any other events 20-something liberated feminists would go to.
She has also, in her colourful career, appeared on shows and in broadcasts, and walked down runways.
Over the years, I have come to know her as someone who listens more than she speaks, someone who carries herself with quiet intention and has an unwavering desire to see people become healthier versions of themselves.
That same kindness showed up on one of the biggest days of my life. On my wedding day, while everyone else was caught up in the celebrations, she was the friend making sure I remembered to take a sip of my champagne.
It was such a small gesture, but it spoke volumes about who she is. She notices people. She cares. Looking back, it makes perfect sense that psychology would find her before she found it.
Today, Temansele Palesa Mkoko, although not practising as a psychologist, has refused to let her degree gather dust.
Between running her lash business and creating her weekly Mental Health Mondays series on Instagram, she continues to advocate for conversations that many people still shy away from.
During our long overdue catch-up, we spoke about studying psychology in Eswatini, unemployment, the country's mental health system and why purpose sometimes finds a different route than the one we planned.
Q: Tell us a little about yourself and what inspired you to study psychology?
A: In high school, I realised people naturally felt safe enough to be vulnerable with me. That made me think maybe this was my calling. When I got to Form 4, I heard about a new institution at EMCU offering a psychology degree, and I just knew I had to apply.
Q: Did you specialise in a particular field?
A: At the moment I only have my undergraduate degree, so I haven't specialised yet. One day I hope to study Community Psychology because I believe solving problems at the community level can prevent so many issues before they happen, whether it's addiction, gender-based violence or other social challenges.
Q: What kind of career did you imagine after graduating?
A: I always imagined myself working for an NGO that focuses on mental health. That was the dream.
Q: What was the biggest reality check after university?
A: That unemployment is real. Being passionate about something doesn't automatically pay the bills or put food on the table.
People warned me before I chose psychology. They asked, "Who's going to hire you?" They weren't wrong, but I can honestly say I don't regret choosing it.
Q: What keeps you passionate about mental health today?
A: I want our generation to become the healthiest and happiest version of itself. We joke about being "a sad generation with happy pictures," but I genuinely believe happiness is possible despite everything happening around us.
Someone once told me that the cost of knowledge is change, and that stayed with me. So many people simply don't know how everyday habits affect their mental health. If I can help people understand those things, even a little at a time, then that's worthwhile.
Q: How would you describe the state of mental health awareness in Eswatini?
A: We can do so much better. Organisations like Kwakha Indvondza are doing important work, but it isn't enough.
We rely heavily on social media, yet there is a whole demographic that isn't online and isn't being reached.
Q: What are the biggest barriers to accessing mental health services?
A: Finances. Many people simply can't afford private mental health practitioners. At the same time, a lot of people don't even know government hospitals offer free counselling services.
Q: What does the shortage of mental health professionals mean for ordinary emaSwati?
A: It means people don't get the opportunity to work on their mental health because no one is teaching them about it. Unfortunately, that contributes to rising cases of suicide, depression, gender-based violence and many other challenges.
Q: If you could change three things about the mental healthcare system, what would they be?
A: First, I would increase community outreach programmes so people can learn about mental health.
Second, every hospital and clinic should have a therapist, just as they have nurses. Third, schools need counsellors. Teenagers are carrying a lot, and they deserve trusted adults who can help them navigate life.
Q: What's one myth about mental health you wish would disappear?
A: That therapy is only for people who have "lost their minds" or that seeking help is a sign of weakness.
We could all benefit from therapy, whether we're grieving, overwhelmed, making difficult decisions or simply trying to become better people.
Therapy also helps us identify unhealthy coping mechanisms we've picked up throughout life.
Q: What inspired your Mental Health Mondays series?
A: It actually started as something for me. I wanted to stay sharp and keep learning about mental health. I wasn't chasing views or validation. I honestly assumed nobody would watch. That's why it's so overwhelming when people stop me in the street to talk about it.
Q: How do your lash business and your passion for mental health come together?
A: More often than people think. I meet so many women through my work, and our conversations naturally become deeper.
Sometimes I get the opportunity to share little mental health tips or things I've learned along the way.
Q: What are you reading and listening to these days?
A: I'm reading The Awe of God and The Bait of Satan by John Bevere. The Bait of Satan has been especially interesting because it explores how offence can limit our potential.
I've also been listening to Refined by Bulie Makhubo. My faith is my biggest coping mechanism.
Q: Would you ever create a podcast or YouTube channel?
A: Absolutely. I'd love that. Four minutes on Instagram never feels like enough. It would be exciting to have longer conversations with people from different backgrounds. A YouTube channel would probably suit me because people can either watch or simply listen.
Q: Finally, what would you say to graduates who can't find work in the fields they studied?
A: Where there's a will, there's a way. I know that's easier said than done, but we have to become innovative.
We grew up believing education was the key to success, but somewhere along the way, the system changed the locks without warning.
Instead of waiting for the old system to work again, let's create a new one for ourselves.
For your daily dose of Mental Health Monday, keep in touch with Palesa: https://www.instagram.com/blxckflower_sz?igsh=MTYzdjNseDVtMnpidA==
For your next lash appointment, click here: https://www.instagram.com/eyes.on.you24?igsh=NXJqeWoxc29mbXBi
